5 Real Solutions for Getting Over Your Ex: Whether a relationship lasted three weeks or three years, you probably had some sort of emotional connection with whoever you had been dating that you cherished throughout the entire relationship and maybe even now.
After you’ve loved someone for any amount of time, it can be hard to stop loving them or get over them. Love doesn’t usually disappear overnight, which is why many times people linger on their emotions for their ex for a very long time.
Even in cases of divorce, where the process might have been messy and you might have fought for a really long time, you still might love the person you just left, and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel that way.
However, if you’ve left the person or they’ve left you, it’s not typically healthy to pine over them for a long time, and it may be best to get over them as quickly as possible, especially if you’re not even on speaking terms any longer.
Here are our top tips for how to get over your ex so you can move on with your life.
5 Real Solutions for Getting Over Your Ex
1. Cut Contact
Many people insist that the best way to get over your ex is to stop yourself from talking to them unless, of course, you’ve decided to remain close friends. Even then, though, they’ll probably understand if you tell them that you need a little time apart at first in order to handle your own emotions and separate your new friends from your old relationship.
Quite honestly, they might need the same thing from you and could just be unsure of how to ask you for it. When you remain in contact with someone, they take up more space in your mind. If you’ve recently broken, then you’ll probably be thinking all about the amazing things you did while you both were together, which won’t help you move on from them.
As harsh as it sounds, you’re likely better off sticking to yourself and your friends and loved ones while they do their own thing.
If you still have the urge to speak with them once you’re certain you’re over them, then it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth reaching out or not.
By cutting contact, you’re limiting the amount of active time you spend with them at the front of your mind. Especially right after a fresh breakup, fixating on an old relationship and dragging it out by talking to them frequently could slow down your emotional healing.
2. Practice a Little Self-Care
When you’re having difficulty getting over an ex, it may be tempting to be hard on yourself and blame yourself as the sole reason that you split up in the first place.
It might be even worse if they haven’t called or texted you when you’re really wishing that they did.
In this sort of situation, taking a step back and caring for yourself first can really help. Take a bubble bath or just spend some time alone with a new book or TV show that you’ve been looking forward to.
Trying a new health routine might make you feel better as well, such as exploring some kind of detox or picking up meal prep to encourage healthy eating and saving takeout money.
Making your body feel better can help your mind feel better and calmer, which can help you to move your thoughts from your ex onto something else more worth your time. Distraction may seem simple but it can be very effective.
3. Follow a Routine
You are not the only person to ever have trouble getting over an ex, and you won’t be the last. That’s why relationship experts have already taken the time to write a five-step plan for people to help them get over their ex and move on with their lives.
BetterHelp has a comprehensive and previously successful guide on how to get over your ex if you want to get some outside advice from other people who have been through this. You can get over your ex despite how much you might think you can’t, so just keep trying different things until you find something that works.
4. Try Dating Someone New
Your first relationship after getting out of a long-term one doesn’t have to be a large commitment or anything like that. It could be as simple as grabbing some drinks and then never seeing each other again if that’s what you both decide to do.
Chances are that your living space reminds you of your ex in some way, whether it be their favorite throw pillow that was left right where they always liked it or some mugs or cute decorations that they bought you because they thought you might want them to brighten your place up.
You don’t have to get rid of these items, especially if they mean a lot to you, but you should probably move them to a new home just for the time being. Being constantly reminded of your ex every time you look at a certain chair, for example, probably won’t help you move on from them very quickly.
If a large piece of furniture is the guilty party bringing back rough memories, then just try redecorating around it by putting a new pillow on it or draping a blanket over the back. Anything that might make it more difficult to recognize will probably help.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-
related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health
resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with
mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.